A man sees a sign outside a house that says “Talking Dog for Sale.” Intrigued, he walks in.

“I heard you have a talking dog for sale?” he asks the owner.

“Yep, sure do,” the owner replies. “Wanna see him?”

The man nods and the owner leads him to the back of the house. There, sitting on the porch, is a dog.

“Hi there,” says the man to the dog. “I hear you can talk?”

“Yep, I sure can,” replies the dog.

The man is amazed. “So, tell me, what’s your story?”

The dog clears his throat and begins, “Well, I discovered I could talk when I was just a young pup. I wanted to use my gift to serve my country, so I joined the CIA. I did some undercover work in the Middle East, then went to work for the Secret Service. After that, I did some consulting work for the FBI. Now I’m retired, and I just hang out here on the porch all day.”

The man is stunned. “Wow, that’s incredible. Why on earth would someone sell a dog like you?”

The dog sighs. “Well, the owner’s wife found out I could talk, and she didn’t like it. She said I was too much of a smartass.”